A bit off target…

Wow –

Bam –

and there it hit me…

I have been spending way too much time studying and pursuing the many ways to help exceptional children….at the expense of my own.

I do not write these words lightly; the ink they use is full of pain and sadness.

Here I sit pursuing my Masters – so I can one day work one on one with special needs children. I love them, I love the way they think, I love what we can learn from them…I love that God made some of us so unique that we baffle man…but not God. There is a thirst in my soul that God placed there for children who may not be able to verbally express themselves but have an unmistakable glimmer in their eyes that speaks louder than any words. This is my passion and what evokes life in me, but why?

The why is what is breaking my heart. Many years ago we started to see signs that our son was, well, not on the same progression scale that most his age were. He was brilliant beyond his months, reaching every milestone well above schedule. We were pound new parents but we were also older parents so we had some wisdom and in our hearts we knew, he was different. After several years and some unique challenges we came face to face with an exceptional child. While many boast of giftedness, those who truly have it know the burden that comes along with the charm.

When faced with the reality I went to work with research and studied everything I could to better understand my child. Eventually I pursued my degree with a minor in exceptionalities and obtained my ASD Cert. but I missed something along the way. I missed my child.

I missed the cues that he needed me, I missed the opportunities to help him, all in all I missed the ways I could have helped him along the path that I was striving to help others on.

So here I sit, very late at night, oh so convicted and saddened.

And yet, here I sit with all this knowledge… am I really ready to put it to use? Will my theories really play out? Am I ready for this?

The answer is confidently…yes…

Why?

Because we serve a sovereign Lord. He did not give my son just a mom, but also a dad. A dad who gets him and loves him and would give up the world for him. He gave him a dad who would one night very late at night stand firm with his mom and remind her why she originally pursued all this information and education…to help her son. And with the firm support of his dad and the encouragement of his mom, our son, as unique as he may be is restfully in God’s hands and we will do all He requires in order to have him grow to be the man who loves God with all his heart soul and mind…Amen

 

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